To mark the beginning of the joyous month of Adar here are 17 of my favourite short jokes.
Enjoy!ย
(And feel free to like, share, add one of your own in the comments area below ๐)
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So someone fell into the upholstery machine in a furniture factoryโฆ
From what Iโve heard they are now fully recovered!
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A young man called directory assistanceโฆ โHello, operator, I would like the telephone number for David Cohen in Johannesburg.โ
โThere are multiple listings for David Cohen in Johannesburgโ the operator replied. โDo you have a street name?โ
The young man hesitated, and then said, โWellโฆ umโฆ some people can call me Ice Man.โ
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(You may have to have grown up with snowmen to get this oneโฆ)
So there were these two snowmen standing in someoneโs garden. One snowman turns to the other and says, โHay! Do you smell carrots?โ
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Did you hear about the two TV antennas that got married? The wedding wasnโt great but the reception was amazing!
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Did you ever meet the bloke who invented crosswords?
What was his name again?โฆ Umโฆ P something T something R.
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I phoned the trainer at the local gym and I asked if he could help me to doย the splits.
He asked me, โWell how flexible are you?โ
I said, โWellโฆI can usually make Tuesdays or Thursdays.โ
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What did Cinderella say when her photos werenโt ready?
Some day my prints will come.
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What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on a tortoise?
Weeeeee!
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What did Zero say to Eight? ย
Nice belt!
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So I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: โHmmmโฆ This could be interesting.
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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just Juan
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Crime in multi-storey car parksโฆ Its just wrong on every level!
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So I went into an Exclusive Books store and asked for a book on turtles.
โHard back?โย the assistantย said.
Yes, I said, โhard back, little headโฆ โ
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This guy knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
So I gave him a glass of water.
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Iโm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Itโs impossible to put down!
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A polar bear walks into a bar and says โCan I have 2 beers โฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆ. โฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆ.. and 2 cokes.โ
The bar tender looks at him and says โWhy the big pause?โ
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And finallyโฆ
A photon walks into a hotel. The attendant asks if he has any bags he needs help with.
โNoโฆโ the photon replied โIโm traveling light.โ
๐คก๐๐ย HAVE A HAPPY MONTH OF ADAR!ย ๐๐๐คก
(๐ And please donโt forget toย like,ย share or evenย share your own jokeย in the comments below ๐)