ThinkingJew.com

Sharing 17 of my favourite short jokes

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To mark the beginning of the joyous month of Adar here are 17 of my favourite short jokes.

Enjoy!ย 

(And feel free to like, share, add one of your own in the comments area below ๐Ÿ˜€)

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So someone fell into the upholstery machine in a furniture factoryโ€ฆ

From what Iโ€™ve heard they are now fully recovered!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

A young man called directory assistanceโ€ฆ โ€œHello, operator, I would like the telephone number for David Cohen in Johannesburg.โ€

โ€œThere are multiple listings for David Cohen in Johannesburgโ€ the operator replied. โ€œDo you have a street name?โ€

The young man hesitated, and then said, โ€œWellโ€ฆ umโ€ฆ some people can call me Ice Man.โ€

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

(You may have to have grown up with snowmen to get this oneโ€ฆ)

So there were these two snowmen standing in someoneโ€™s garden. One snowman turns to the other and says, โ€œHay! Do you smell carrots?โ€

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Did you hear about the two TV antennas that got married? The wedding wasnโ€™t great but the reception was amazing!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Did you ever meet the bloke who invented crosswords?

What was his name again?โ€ฆ Umโ€ฆ P something T something R.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

I phoned the trainer at the local gym and I asked if he could help me to doย the splits.

He asked me, โ€œWell how flexible are you?โ€

I said, โ€œWellโ€ฆI can usually make Tuesdays or Thursdays.โ€

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

What did Cinderella say when her photos werenโ€™t ready?

Some day my prints will come.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on a tortoise?

Weeeeee!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

What did Zero say to Eight? ย 

Nice belt!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: โ€˜Hmmmโ€ฆ This could be interesting.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just Juan

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Crime in multi-storey car parksโ€ฆ Its just wrong on every level!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So I went into an Exclusive Books store and asked for a book on turtles.

โ€œHard back?โ€ย the assistantย said.

Yes, I said, โ€œhard back, little headโ€ฆ โ€œ

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

This guy knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave him a glass of water.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Iโ€™m reading a book about anti-gravity.

Itโ€™s impossible to put down!

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

A polar bear walks into a bar and says โ€œCan I have 2 beers โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ. โ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.. and 2 cokes.โ€

The bar tender looks at him and says โ€œWhy the big pause?โ€

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

And finallyโ€ฆ

A photon walks into a hotel. The attendant asks if he has any bags he needs help with.

โ€œNoโ€ฆโ€ the photon replied โ€œIโ€™m traveling light.โ€

๐Ÿคก๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ˜‚ย HAVE A HAPPY MONTH OF ADAR!ย ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿคก

(๐Ÿ˜€ And please donโ€™t forget toย like,ย share or evenย share your own jokeย in the comments below ๐Ÿ˜€)

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